Word on the street.
I’m writing this on International Women’s Day - Monday 8th March, 2021.
International Women’s Day has always been a reason for me to fist pump and revel in the fact that I am a woman (hear me roar!), but this year marks the first time that I’ve felt so passionate about this movement. And that’s thanks to this wonderful project, the Womanhood Journal.
The first edition of what we hope is a large collection to come, the Womanhood Journal is a collection of authentic stories from local women in the Kāpiti and Horowhenua communities. It was an absolute privilege to work as editor alongside the amazing Anna Colville-Smith of ACS Marketing, who penned the original idea and expertly connected all the moving parts, and with masterful designer Sarah-Jayne Shine of Lemonface Design.
And oh my goodness it’s a beautiful thing.
Each woman has bravely written their own story in their own words (my own included), sharing their own truth in the hope of encouraging others. A secondary goal was to raise funds for local charities Kāpiti Women’s Centre and Palmerston North Women’s Refuge. With $2000 donated, these funds are destined to support the important work these organisations do in helping women rise.
Below is my own story, which was featured as part of our first issue, and I really encourage everyone to check out the full magazine for inspiring stories and general women-led camaraderie. Happy sigh.
Jess Deacon
Writer. Musician. Eternal Optimist.
We’re all familiar with the saying, “do what makes you happy.” It’s a straightforward concept, but it has a tendency to come with conditions. Until I hit my 30s I considered it to be an unreachable, unobtainable notion that I could only hope would materialise at some point in the far and distant future.
Nothing particularly noteworthy happened when I turned 30, but as a single mother of two boys who had spent the best part of the previous 15 years suppressing a dream of being a musician, I suddenly had a feeling of time slipping away, and I didn’t want to waste any more days thinking, “what if?”.
The idea that a woman could make a liberating decision to make her life more fulfilling (shock, horror!) is the very reason that I feel strongly about International Women’s Day. Because that in itself - making a brave decision - can be anyone’s success.
People’s varying definitions of the word ‘success’, and the comparison to others’ definitions of the same word, has the very real potential to get us all into a bit of a muddle. This first became apparent to me when, around the table at a family dinner, my very clever and very up-there-in-the-financial-world brother declared that he was the most successful person at the table. Hmm. Compared to whom, little brother? Your PhD-carrying, internationally-acclaimed, opera-singing mother? Your did-life-backwards-but-loving-the-ride sister? (That’d be me.) Or your very cute nephew who - at that time - had just figured out that if he got himself dressed in the morning, he could wear anything he fancied?
Success means to move forward. Not to compare. It doesn’t define any level of any achievement within any facet of anyone’s life. Except your own, when you’re in charge of the defining bit. The trouble is, as we grew up, we women subconsciously learned to compare ourselves to each other and then learned to feel deflated by our own brilliant achievements.
International Women’s Day is designed to encourage women to share their own stories and celebrate their successes, whatever their endeavours. Sharing stories helps us all to realise that success is different for every single person, and that every woman’s journey is valid. Men would be wise to agree with us on this subject.
Three years ago, success for me was having the courage to walk away from a full time job that didn’t fulfil me, and attempt to forge a path doing the two things I love the most: music and writing. This meant returning to study and hoping that I could find enough freelance work to pay the bills.
Some people told me I was brave. If being brave means following our dreams, aren’t we living life with our priorities out of whack?
Some people questioned my intentions. Don’t worry, naysayers, I didn’t instantly forget that I’m a mother who’s responsible for (and capable of, as it happens) putting food on the table.
Some people celebrated the fact that I was willing to create a life for myself that made me happy. I like those people. I surround myself with those people.
As it turns out, I quite like doing the things that make me happy. I was earning the least amount of money I had in years, living as frugally as possible, but let me tell you: my cup was full. My days were filled with music, writing, general creativity and more time with my children. I felt happier. I felt like I was finally living life with a purpose. I now have the pleasure of telling people, with the bold enthusiasm I only ever used to dream about, that I am a musician and a writer.
Being a musician means I am finding new things to learn, practising regularly, exploring musical connections, and making plans to record and release some of my work.
Being a writer means I am nurturing my business, Deacon Rd., and writing interesting things for interesting people. Words that mean something, and are a pleasure to read. Words without waffle. Sentences that stand out.
At this moment in time, success for me is the fact that this is my reality: a balanced, gratifying and impassioned engendering of communication in many forms.
I take inspiration from any woman who’s also had the courage to make change. To dare to dream, make brave decisions and acknowledge the unique journeys of others around them. Being bold and brave is never the easy road, but it’s empowering and affirming and life-changing. And that sounds like success to me.
Read the full Womanhood Journal here.